Day 272: LMFAO: Mommified

Yeah, Yeah
When a drive on by, moms be jealous of my new ride
No more strollers, no more car seats, just luxury (yeah)
This is how I roll, Highlander, righteous car that goes
It’s got leather seats and room for the stows
And like Angelina Jolie I got the glow

Ah.. Boy look at the car
Ah.. Boy look at that car
I carpool

When I drive down the street (Yeah), This is what I see (ok)
Everybody stops they staring at me
I got style behind the wheel and I ain’t afraid to show it , show it, show it

I drive a car and I know it

When I’m going fast, all the moms watch as I step on the gas
I’m nothing like them, no baby bags, diapers or crying kids (what)
This is how I roll, come on kids its time to go
Mom doesn’t have a van, she’s rockin’ it better than before
Sunglasses, and passengers, we drive to the store (let’s shop)

Ah.. Boy look at the car
Ah.. Boy look at that car
I carpool

Check it out [x2]
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool cool yeah (X3)
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool cool yeah, yeah
Do the cool mom
I am the cool mom
Yeah
No more minivan and I know it

Day 156: An Open Letter to the Toyota Motor Corporation

I would like to begin by saying I have been a loyal Toyota customer since 1998.  In the years of bad mortgages and sweet lease deals, I leased a Camry for a very cheap price.  I will admit, never did I feel taken advantage of.  Thus, when my lease was up in 2002, not only did I release a Camry, but my husband bought a Toyota, too!  Toyota, I have loved you for your dependability; I have loved you for your reliability; I have loved you for the amenities that you offer.

With that being said, Damn you, Toyota!  In this technologically advanced age that we live in, can you not design a mini-van that can keep its hub caps?  I mean, really, I know it’s a lease, but it’s not a rental!  I am not going to beat it up to turn it back in.  I expect you to represent.

I choose you Toyota because of your reputation.  (Okay, not the Toyota recall reputation.  At that time, people were like, “You drive a Toyota?” They were in disbelief that I was willing to put my life on the line day-in and day-out,)  You stand behind your motor vehicles, and when something is amiss, you are willing to admit fault and fix it.

Thus, I need you to admit that something is rotten in the state of Denmark.  I need you to admit that something went awry.  For whatever reason, the hub caps on the Toyota Sienna slip off at the slightest jousting.

Okay, maybe I am partially at fault.  I drove a Camry for so long, maybe I take turns a bit too sharp.  After seven years, maybe I still misjudge the size of my car. Maybe I have skidded across a curb or two.  Nonetheless, why can’t you engineer a wheel that can withstand a little bad driving?

Toyota, I deflect the blame to you.

Since I started driving the Sienna in 2004, I have lost seven hub caps.  Seven!  If that does not seem like a particularly abounding number, I will admit, on my last lease, I stopped buying hub caps in the second year of my lease after I had lost my fifth hub cap.  Seemingly, I could have purchased dozens more.  Instead, I swallowed my pride and went hub cap-less for four years.  With this current lease, I lost both passenger side hub caps within six months.  I cannot afford to continue to replace them (you know, the economy and all); I have no choice but to mitigate my own self-worth and drive an automobile that is poorly constructed.

I have been scarred.  Last week, I had the windows unrolled; I had forgotten about the physical appearance of my car.  I was stopped at a stop sign in one of the nicer neighborhoods of town.  I looked at a passerby and tried to smile.  She ignored me.  I thought I saw her mouth, “White Trash.”  It couldn’t have been that she was listening to music and singing along to a song.  No, it had to have been the appearance of my car.  I have been reduced to White Trash because of your failure to create a wheel that can keep a hub cap, and I am seriously contemplating psychological counseling to get over the trauma of this experience.

So, Toyota, I beg you, please fix this problem.  I am not the only loyal customer who has dealt with this issue.  I see Siennas all over the roads with the same problems.  I am calling upon you now  to fix this problem.  Do not let another middle class American mom experience the pain and trepidation I have experienced.  Do not allow another loyal customer feel the shame that I feel.  It is time for you to take a stand, Toyota, and fix this problem.

Do it for soccer moms.

Do it for hockey moms.

Do it for spelling bee moms.

Do it because it’s the right thing to do.