I’m Sorry Honey

Dear Tom,

I am choosing this forum to tell you this information because it is public.  Many of our friends and family read this blog, and I know that you would never want to react in such a way that would tarnish the way people see our relationship.

We have been together now for almost seventeen years.  We will celebrate our fifteenth anniversary this June!  In all of these years, we have shown each other true compassion and love, and I think we can agree that many people our envious of our open, honest, and trusting relationship.

With that being said, I made a slight mistake last night.  Well, really, it has been over the course of several weeks.  You know how I run the March Madness pool at work?  Well, I told you I put the $410.00 I collected in the bank, but I didn’t.  Over the course of the last two weeks, I have spent it frivolously:  a pedicure, a message, a few extra goodies for the Easter baskets, etc.

Worried that we will have to pay this out in a week, knowing that we cannot take anything out of our immediate savings because it is so small, I decided to try a quick fix.  I went online and looked at different Keno algorithm websites.  I wanted to see if I could increase our chances of winning.  Seemingly, everything I studied said the best chances of winning are playing two numbers and playing the booster every time.  It said your best odds were to play those numbers ten times in a row.  Two numbers only pays out $11.00 on the dollar.  But, if you play ten dollars a hand and the booster, the website made it seem liked I could make thousands in just minutes.

After you went to bed last night, I downloaded the Ohio Lottery Keno App for the iPhone.  I thought it would be fun to see what numbers were playing.  After watching two draws, I got the bug, so I ran to the bank machine and withdrew $400.00.  Next, I went to the BP Station, I played our two numbers for a total of $20.00 a bet.  I played the booster for $20.00 a bet as well.

I ran home and watched it go down on my app.  I was so excited!   First draw, nothing.  Second draw nothing.  Third draw, one number.  Fourth draw, the other number.  I knew they were about to hit together.  I was going to make some serious cash, and we were going to be set with a little extra jingle in our pockets, and I would be able to pay back the pool money.

It hit!  It hit for 5X the Booster.  The problem is, it hit the series after the last time I had money in.

I am sorry, Honey.  I did not mean to frivolously spend money or frivolously lose money.

I looked at the bills.  I think if I pay the mortgage two weeks late, skip the car payment this month, we will be fine.  I will figure out how to make up that car payment later.

In the scheme of life, this is definitely just a measly temporary setback.  It’s not like we are filing bankruptcy or anything.

Know that I love you.


P.S. Take your blood pressure medicine.

P.P.S. Happy April Fools


5 thoughts on “I’m Sorry Honey

  1. I’m sure Tom ran out of blood pressure pills Saturday night as the Buckeyes were losing to Witchitucky State

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