Day 314: Revisionist History

The Daily Post suggested this prompt today:  “Go back in time to an event you think could have played out differently for you.  Let alternate history have its moment: tell us what could, would, or should have happened.”

When I read this idea this morning, I thought about accepting the challenge.  How would my life have played out had I not dropped out of Miami University?  I probably would have settled in and made a niche for myself.  I would have graduated college at 22, not 25.  I would have studied and worked; I would have frolicked and carried on. I would have forgotten that I had wanted something different for myself.  I would have become comfortable.

Comfortable.

Comfortable is happy.  It is relaxed and agreeable.  It is satisfied and convenient, but it is not happy. Would I have settled for comfortable instead of striving for happiness?

To be honest, to even entertain the idea of an alternative path seems ludicrous.  I chose the direction of my life.  I weighed all alternatives and I made decisions that I believed would not make me comfortable.  I made decisions that I believed would make me happy.

At the time, it was not easy.  People scoffed!  You, they said.  You are a college dropout!  I felt pressure.  I know people felt I was making a mockery out of my life.  I worried people were right.  Was it possible I would be a failure at life because I did not graduate from Miami University within four years?  Would I go to my grave a loser shunned by her peers?

As much as I feared standing on my own two feet, I knew I had to do it.  I had no choice; I had to explore

I cannot say what could, would, or should have happened.  I do know I do not regret my decision.  I chose to live deliberately.  I humbly took my curtain call and I walked away.  I stepped off of the paved path onto the patches of grass.  I found sunshine where I did not know it existed.

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2 thoughts on “Day 314: Revisionist History

  1. I hate comfortable. I remember a few years ago, in my first year of teaching, a student responded in their journal: “always try to be better.” I printed it out immediately and hung it over my door.

    You don’t get any better by 9to5 + dinner + Tivo/DVR + pajamas. You get better by challenging yourself, making yourself uncomfortable. You get better by 5K’s turning to the unthinkable marathon. You get better by crazy bucket list ideas turning to hopping a F’n train. You get better by weekend road-trips turning to a month spent getting lost driving every mile of Highway-1 in California. If you ask me what I’m doing, I’ll say “I have no idea” and I’ll be completely happy with it.

    You say “I had to explore.” Heck yes, WE HAVE TO EXPLORE. And while we do, here’s to getting lost…

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