As it may be for anyone who works in a large building, there are certain places and rooms that I never seem to visit. My classroom is on the second floor, and everything I need is 100 feet from this room. Half the time, I forget we even have a downstairs, and someone has to get my mail because I forget to go to the main office for days on end.
However, today I was downstairs near the math/science workroom when I realized I needed to use the restroom. We have our own staff restroom upstairs, so I never use the one on the main floor.
After I used the facilities and washed my hands, I noticed a full-length mirror on the wall. As a rule, I avoid full length mirrors because I am pretty much disgusted at my 42-year-old-I-have-had-three-children-and-I-do-not-have-time-to-exercise-enough-and-they’re-not-kidding-that-your-metabolism-changes-after-40 body. Upstairs, we only have the friendly over-the-sink mirror, one in which you cannot see yourself below the waist. Needlesstosay, as I passed the full length mirror, for whatever reason (self-loathing, maybe?), I was compelled to take a glimpse of myself.
I stopped dead in my tracks.
I looked fabulous! I looked like my 25-year-old-I-workout-five-days-a-week-because-what-else-do-I-have-to-do-but-look-good-and-take-care-of-myself body.
Had I known that the mirror is one of those trick mirrors, the one that is hanging at such a slight angle that it distorts your body and actually makes you look 30 pounds thinner, I would have visited this restroom sooner.
I looked good– straight on, sideways– even looking at my ass over my shoulder looked good. For a moment, I stood a little taller, and I felt a little better about myself.
“You look good,” I said out loud. I wanted to make sure that I heard it. You know, they say a compliment goes along way.
(Don’t worry, no one else was in the restroom.)
I was so elated that I wanted to take a picture to prove how good I looked. I looked for my phone in my book bag, then I realized that I had left it on my desk. To be honest, it was for the best. I had a stain on my shirt from the mustard that oozed out of my sandwich at lunch, my eye make-up was disheveled from laughing so hard this morning, and my hair looked like I didn’t even try this morning (humidity will do that).
Thus, to prove it, I drew you a picture.
Sorry, boys. This hottie is spoken for.
“I’m sexy and I know it!”